I grew up through the 1970’s with a small group of girls in a town on the Western coast of the USA. We went to elementary school, middle school, and high school together. A couple of us moved away, but we always kept in touch and saw each other regularly over the decades. I flew back, in fact, to spend my 50th with them just before Covid-19 hit. We have a chat group in which we talk about the banalities within our lives as well as big issues – marriage, expectations, addiction, disappointment, fears, and motherhood. I always suspected one of these friends supported Trump, but I adopted something akin to “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” Then, a few days ago, in response to video I sent of peaceful protests in our home state and things, perhaps, not being as violent as theyâre purported to be, she told us about her vehement support of Trump and her plans to vote for him again in November, etc.. Moreover, while she has struggled to suppress her staunch support of him in order to be friends with me, she will cut off the friendship if I have a problem with her political affiliation. I was shocked and hurt. I can understand why she may have voted for him in 2016, but after everything that has happened during the last few years stateside, for her to vote for him again left me utterly stunned.
Below, is an email I sent to another member of our ‘gang,’ and my dearest friend in the world – the sister I have never had. That said, she and I have never really discussed politics because I felt she wasn’t particularly interested. Also, I know that her parents are Trumpsters, as are other members of her family, so I didn’t want to put her in an uncomfortable position and potentially have conflict with her (too). But, since the âbreach,â if you will, from the other friend, I wrote an email to her, below, because I can’t carry the confusion and unhappiness I feel about our mutual friend alone, and I feel the need to find out where she stands â to âlay it all bareâ and to ‘throw the dice’ (and a number of other platitudes), hoping that our friendship will bear the burden of potentially diametrical political perceptions.
I share it here because it illustrates how politics has become personal, and questions whether we can reach over (under, above) political divides to those who hold fundamentally different views from our own in our personal lives…

âIn politics, the middle way is none at all.” John Adams
Hello my dear,
I want to address what you said on the group with * and *, about beliefs and finding common ground and what-not. I absolutely agree that divisiveness and power struggles arenât productive, and there is reason to trying to find shared values in order to collectively progressâŠand, actually, thinking about * and her vehement support of Trump, I find myself really evaluating how information we each look at, and the people we tend to âbondâ with and to hold close, generally do share our values and beliefs, and so it is like weâre all operating in a vacuum, including me, by gravitating and engaging with like-minded folksâŠand then, it only takes cynical would-be and actual political leaders to accentuate the natural separation between milieusâŠaided and abetted by targeted ads and ânewsâ stories on social media to encourage and perpetuate oneâs biases.
And, I realize I was âindoctrinatedâ by my father to certain political ideologies :).
However. As you may know :), I question things a lot. I truly try to be honest with myself, even with the âdarkâ corners of my person. I remedy false ideas and admit when Iâm wrong or donât know enough about a subject to proffer an opinion. I also teach sociolinguistics and comparative linguistics (oh yes, the teens dig it :))
And, with my identity having undergone a seismic shift in 2018, Iâve deeply evaluated who I am and why I am and what I value most of all, etc. Add to that the very disturbing global politics and trends âforcingâ me to consider where I stand on political and social issues and why. Perhaps current events have done this for a lot of us?
The following points are not in an effort to persuade you to a certain view, but are offered, instead, as proof that I have thought carefully about my view of Trump and this current administration. That my dislike of him is not a âleftistâ âknee-jerkâ response to him or his party, but carefully considered reasoning.
While I do tend to favor newspapers and magazines that share my general sensibilities, I actually read a lot of information from âboth sides of the aisleâ regularly. So, while I get a regular influx of âHarpersâ Magazine and âForeign Affairsâ and âThe Guardianâ newspaper and âLe Mondeâ and âMother Jonesâ (left leaning intellectual bias) I also regularly read Reddit, “Huffington Post,” David Brooks, “The Sun,” and Fox News (centrist & right leaning bias). Moreover, Iâm quite well versed in global history and politics. Luckily, to understand literature and to teach a given book well, one must understand the context in which itâs written and so Iâm forever researching and cross referencing various time periods and societal perspectives/values/expectations/political occurrences and undercurrents. And, while I concede that most things are arguable, as you note, and that even statistics, themselves, can be read and understood from different angles, there are some things that are my âline in the sandâ and that it would be very tough going to change my mind about. And which, consequently, leaves me in some distress as to whether I can, in fact, be friends with *, or she with me, without a degree of self-consciousness or falsehood…
So, for example, Iâm a devout Social Democrat. Iâm not an American type of Democrat at all, whom I see as centrist and still adhering to big business and the almighty sway of capitalism (in this, I can understand why Trumpsters are disenchanted with the system stateside. That said, I know that USA Democrats created Medicaid, Medicare, Social Security, and free school lunches, for example, so they are different). I believe that taxes should be paid equitably by all in order to secure the infrastructure of society. That it is our civic responsibility for our children, as well as for our neighborâs children, and ourselves. This is not to say that I donât believe in capitalism – I do. BUT, I think unfettered capitalism is destructive, corruptible, and will ultimately lead to hyper inequity and corporate fascism (meaning that corporations and business interests âownâ the governments of the world and motivate their interests and dictate their respective policies). Again, sort of like a Trumpster, I suppose, I think that itâs arguable as to whether itâs even possible to operate outside of that system anymore in the USA. I mean, for example, it takes SO much money to RUN for office – which means youâre giving favors in return for said money no matter how you look at it – that I think itâs a colossal feat to be able to operate outside these moneyed interests thereâŠ
Itâs so strange to me, though, that Trumpsters see Trump as âoutsideâ the system, when he is born of it. Literally. He inherited 240 million dollars from his dad, attended private schools, did poorly in university but wasnât flunked due to donations from his father. Heâs the type of student I (hypocritically) might teach in a private school in Switzerland.
Anyway.
I believe in universal healthcare. I donât see it as those paying taxes taking care of those who don’t or who are lazy, etc., and the odd sense of exceptionalism and individualism and personal convenience in disdain for universal healthcare. I see it as a mark of a collectively oriented society. A civilized society. The Trump administration is hell bent on rolling back even the âkind-of, sort-of universal healthcareâ the Obama admin. enacted.
I believe in a strong public education system, with heavy investment in teachers, schools, administrators and students. This goes for elementary through university. I believe that a solid, democratic, functioning society comes from investment in public education and the possibility that anyone who has merit and interest can go to school and not pay for it for their rest of their lives. Itâs the long view, not short-term planning. I find it saddening and appalling that in the USA, for example, more is spent on maintaining a single prisoner in a penitentiary than on a single student. The current Secretary of Education stateside has never worked in education, donated 30 million dollars to the Trump campaign in 2016, and is an advocate of charter schools and private faith-based schools. Despite what American founding fathers said about the separation of church and state in order to have true religious freedom and to avoid a conflict of interests.
I do not believe that anyone should be prejudiced against because of the color of his or her skin. And in the USA, blacks have been actively and systematically repressed since their arrival as slaves over two hundred years ago. The Trump administration has commended white supremacists, invited them to the White House for visits, and has condemned the Black Lives Matter movement, as well as created the narrative that Antifa is a âterroristâ organization even as the KKK is not.
I believe women are equal to men. Different, but equal. I also believe women have a right to make choices about their bodies, and this means birth control and abortion. Trump has openly insulted women, bullied female congressional leaders, incited his followers to violence against female political leaders who disagree with him, has had numerous harassment cases against him, paid off a call girl during his admin., and speaks in a sexualized manner about his own daughter. What HE has said is what Iâm going by, not what others have said about him. His administration has made it difficult for women to have reproductive care covered by their insurance, even as sexual âaidsâ (sic) are now available to men under general insurance policies.
I believe that global treaties are necessary to avoid world war. Again. This administration has condemned NATO, the EU commission, and pulled out of the Paris Agreement. It has actively antagonized China and Africa, at the same time that it has openly invited foreign intervention in the USA federal elections. Again, Iâm going on what HE says and what a tribunal in the USA found, as well as what various INTEL agencies in the USA and the UK have said. I understand the USA has given a TON of money to these organizations, bolstering them up, and led them, but itâs spending a nickel to save a dime if history is anything to go by, and it is.
I believe that climate change is real and that there is a new future possible in clean energy and sustainable practices. Itâs economically viable to boot. The Trump admin has, again, pandered to fossil fuel interests and the agricultural industry in order to ensure campaign donations and practical support. Meanwhile, bolstering rhetoric to working class souls who rely on these jobs in fossil fuels. BUT, they could be retrained with a modicum of investment and then have jobs that are more secure. But we go back to economic interests.
I believe vaccinations are a godsend, so to speak, but itâs not faith based at all. Science has eradicated polio, measles, and mumps — made it possible not to die of pneumonia or an infection, for example. Not to vaccinate your child is willful ignorance and negligence for the rest of society as well as your child. Any âresearchâ on the possibility of autism with any vaccine has been repeatedly debunked through extensive quantitative research. Similarly, not to wear a mask or maintain a distance during a virus pandemic will hurt those around you. Yet, the Trump administration has repeatedly berated and ridiculed âexpertsâ and âscientists,â long before Covid-19 came to visit. Why? Because a lot of education is not the profile of his base.
I donât think Trump believes even half of what he says. I think he says whatever he needs to say to please the 36% of Americans who believe in him. To them he says Mexicans are rapists and drug addicts (let us not get into the historical creation and political interests of drug cartels in South America). To them, he calls the press âthe left wing media,â when he knows that without the media he wouldnât have gotten the office AND the majority of the news outlets/radio/TV stateside are corporate owned, so they like Trump in office âcause heâs giving their owners tax cuts and profit-making incentives, and he, simply, SELLS newspapers/magazines, etc. He makes them money any way you look at it.
Always follow the money for answers, no? Itâs the same everywhere. While I can understand/itâs logical that many people support Trump âcause he has cut taxes exponentially for the wealthiest and he operates in the interests of business, I do not understand why poor, working class Americans support this man.
So, while I agree with you that we need to find shared ideas and values to make peace and progress, Iâm not sure how we do this now when there are such spectacular divides… Iâve lived abroad a long time (and some USA admins were harder than others to live through here with my Yankee accent) but in 20-odd years, I have never seen the fear, pity, and contempt that Europeans appear to feel about America and Americans now. It breaks my heart. Itâs like watching a fatal car crash in slow motion. To them, itâs the inevitable fall of yet another empire that begs the question of who will fill that vacuum?
And, Iâm actually very confused about maintaining a relationship with *. I love her, I respect her. I know her to be practical, wise, kind, and funny – qualities I admire and hold to be âtrue’. I trust her in a way that I donât most. Perhaps in a way that you can only trust someone because youâve grown up together?
But. Too much is at risk today and politics is personal for me. Particularly with such an explosively divisive man in office in the USA (and, again, I donât for ONE second think that HE is the problem – only the lightning rod – for what has been happening to a great extent since the inception of the USA, and in an acute sense for the last fifty years). What he represents and what he does and says is abhorrent to me and I truly fear for the world if Americans donât vote him out in November.
Yet * has said she will vote for him. Again. That heâs the “best candidate.” (Keep in mind, I get that Biden is no great shakes – yet another old, white, rich dude – but he wonât do what Trump has done in terms of all mentioned above and the attitude – and actions – of being âabove the lawâ). She has been my friend since I was seven-years-old. We havenât kept in close touch consistently over the years, but I always saw her when Iâd go back and I hold her very dear. And our group chats through this terrible time, through the confinement especially, has been the MOST comforting thing for me truly (thank you). Itâs very confusing and I’m very sad. I also know that Iâm a âflightâ rather than âfightâ person and find it easiest to not confrontâŠto âsimplyâ withdraw and have yet another piece of pain and confusion and disappointment to try to unravel.
Again, I absolutely agree that divisiveness and power struggles arenât productive, and there is reason and logic in trying to find shared values in order to collectively progressâŠand I am – even more in the last 48 hours –evaluating the information I look at, and the type of people I tend to âbondâ with and hold close, and who generally share my values and âbeliefs,â and so it IS like Iâm operating in a vacuumâŠand this violates the truest definition of what it is to be âliberal,â which I consider myself to be…
Know that Iâm considering it all. And Iâm sorry for such a loooooonnnnnngggg missive (damn Home Ec class taught me to type quickly). And, I apologize if I have unwittingly offended you in any way with this note. Please forgive me if so. I did not write this to you to incite, to convince, to cajole, to persuade or any other number of verbs for manipulation. I simply wrote it to share my confusion and the intensity of my own opinions with YOU. I feel as though it may seem âpreachyâ to you, but I want to illustrate to you that I HAVE thought about each-and-every element of why I find Trump loathsome â and, again, that itâs not a knee-jerk thoughtless âTrump sucksâ kind-of thing from the âleftâ side of the playing field without consideration for WHY he might be appealing to many.
Thank you for âlistening.â
